Writer's Wednesday: When The Idea of Your Novel Sickens You

I mentioned a long while back about the Travis Parker Effect. That's something I made up to bring to light a very common phenomenon with writers and artists alike: we work like a dog, pumping out our little creation to the exclusion of downright everything else, we finish the project, and there's a moment when we've decided it's the worst piece of shit imaginable and we should be ashamed for putting that much effort into it.


I call it the Travis Parker Effect because of 6 Days to Air: The Making of South Park. On Day 6, with the show conceptualized, written, recorded, and animated, Travis Parker slumps at his desk, muttering that the show is the worst show he has ever created. No one really seems to pay him any mind; you quickly get the vibe that this a common situation after a show has been created. The Travis Parker Effect is nothing more than the fallout artists sometimes get after they've dove headfirst into their project and have finally come up for air.


About a month ago, I finished Manuscript #3. It was a bit grueling at times, but somehow I plodded ahead and got the damn thing done. I finished it knowing that there were scenes I would have to add, scenes I would have to rewrite, characters that would have to be consolidated and characters that would need more fleshing out. That's the joy of a first draft: you got your main idea down, but now the real work begins.


I decided to follow the 3 month rule: you are not allowed to even look at your manuscript for three months. This helps you look at the manuscript with a fresh set of eyes, reading what is actually in front of you and not what you were trying to convey. But there's another reason: to avoid the Travis Parker Effect.


I'm already starting to feel it: man, I know this character just pops out of no where, and these characters are interchangeable, and this and that and this and that... which is hilarious, because, plot-wise, this is probably the best novel I have ever written. And let's not even get into the number of rewrites my first manuscript went through.


So, what do you do when the idea of your novel sickens you? When the very idea of editing makes you cringe because you're still feeling the emotional fallout of finishing your novel? You leave it the hell alone.


In fact, you leave all your manuscripts alone. I attempted to work on M#2 (which is still in it's first round of edits), only to find myself getting discouraged by the same attitude: this is the worst thing I've ever written, the number of edits and rewrites I will have to do is disgustingly high, what was I thinking, why did I let myself spend so much time on this...


This is why I have nothing but respect for full-time writers. I've been focusing my energy on the other endeavors in my life, like my yoga training (and preparing to teach yoga at a homeless shelter, but more on that later) and my tai chi classes. I've been focusing on writing out my proposal to martial art studios for a Yoga for Martial Artist class. I've been focusing on my 365 blog, which gets zero editing (I'm lucky if I read through the damn thing after it's done.)


The editing process is an onerous enough task on its own. The last thing you need is to attempt it while still processing the emotional fallout from what you created. So this little confession is my way of letting fellow writers know that it's okay to metaphorically slump at your desk and proclaim that you just made the worst thing ever -- just so long as the rest of you plays the part of the production team, paying no mind to the emotional fallout.


x-posted to my 365 Blog, which is less than 20 days away from completion!

Writer's Wednesday: Where the Hell Have You Been?

I don't know if I have been a great blogger or a shitty one.


On this blog, I've been terrible: I pride myself on doing at least one entry a week, maybe more, and I have been letting that fall by the wayside. I can't even blame it on not doing any more crafts: I have four finished projects just waiting to be written up, but the pictures stay on the camera and off this blog (two of those include upcycling various items into yoga bags. Hey, what can I say: you craft what inspires you and yoga is currently my main source of inspiration).


However, I've been making some great headway with my 365 Blog. I'm now less than 80 entries away from completing it. I can probably blame this project more than anything else; kind of hard to do a craft write-up when you're busy writing pseudo-essays every day! But I'm so happy I've kept up with it. It's been the driving force behind my essay writing: gone are the days when I think up an idea or craft an opinion and let it fall by the wayside. Since I have to write about something every single day, why not write about that? Those entries eventually become rough drafts, which become second and third drafts, which eventually get submitted to various websites.



Usually, these websites reject me. And sometimes, they don't. Primarily Thought Catalog, where I've been a fairly consistent contributor for almost a year now.


Every once in a while, another website picks up on my stuff: you can check out my essay on redefining a morning practice on Elephant Journal, my opinions on being "an un-noble yogi" here at Rebelle Society (although -- prima donna writer moment -- I have to mention that the editors had final say on the title and the formatting of the essay in general for both of these essays).



You can also check out an essay about strength over skinny on Literally Darling -- and keep an eye out for my Foolproof Guide to Planning a Wedding on that website next week.



And have you bought my book yet? It's now available across the board on all digital formats: got a Nook? You can get it on the B&N website? Kindle? Amazon, baby. iPad or iPhone? iBooks! Got a smartphone? Android market! And don't forget Kobo, if the aforementioned websites don't suit you.


So, yeah, things have been a bit busy! Combine this with my yoga teacher training and finishing up my third manuscript (which is actually coming together -- I'm only two chapters away from completing!) and it's not hard to see why this blog has slowed to a standstill.


But I promise to make a better effort with this blog -- but if this blog keeps silent, at least you know I'm not dead ;)

NaNoWriMo Update

Another year, another completed NaNoWriMo. I technically won -- meaning I got my manuscript to 50,000 by the end of NaNoWriMo -- but the novel is far from completed and, truth be told, I already had a good 9,000 words written beforehand.


But still, it feels good that I kept my 1,000 words a day pace. I'm dropping it like a bad habit now, but I'm glad I did it as long as I did.


So hopefully I'll be back to my regularly scheduled blogging. In case you missed it, you should head over to my Thought Catalog page and read my essay Be Kind to Your Children's Teachers (Yeah, yeah, yeah, the article is technically titled "Parents Need to Realized that Teachers are People Too", but that's link bait and not as poetic). Somehow, this month-old essay of mine has gone a bit viral. Everyone from my high school teachers to former co-workers have read it -- and that's before they realized who wrote it. I know it doesn't take much to go viral these days, but I'm still proud of it, and if you haven't read it, you should do so now.


I hope everyone enjoys the impending holidays. Hopefully I'll get some decorating in and show you how we're doing up our house for the first time!

Writer's Wednesday: So Close!

Greetings from the tail end of NaNoWriMo.  It hasn't been an easy month, but somehow I've managed to get at least 1000 words in every day (last year I signaled each successful day with stars; this year, hearts).  I'm a smidge under 39,000 words total, which means, with any luck, I'll actually make the 50,000 word count goal as set by NaNoWriMo.

Much like my half marathon, I wanted to give up, say, 100 times already. I still want to give up, but I'm only 9 days away -- the final stretch!  It feels good to have such a huge chunk of my book written, but I recognized this is very much the beginning.

I'll see everyone in December!

365 Blog Project

I know this blog is currently a place for house updates and photography (if only because my crafts supplies are still packed up and "organizing the crafts corner of the office" is so stupidly low on the priorities list). But there is one place where I'm constantly active: my 365 writing blog project.


The idea is that, if you are forced to write a blog post -- and a decent one, not just a quick rundown of the day -- every single day, you'll find a greater freedom in your writing. And since I'm in the middle of my third manuscript (a manuscript that I just have a good feeling about), I want to kick my mind into gear.


My goal? A blog entry a day for an entire year. No matter what is going on, I need to write something. Every, single, day.


I started it about three or so weeks ago and, so far, so good. I've made it a routine to make a blog post every morning while I have my coffee (even if I have to burst out the door not even minutes later). The beauty of a project like this is that I feel like I can write about anything. Because, hey, if it's a boring topic, there will be a brand new one tomorrow.


So don't hesitate to check it out, and maybe start a 365 blog of your own. I know 365 Projects are primarily for photographers, but writers can get in on the fun, too. Do you have a writing blog? Or any other 365 project? Post it in the comments below. I love seeing what others have been writing about!

Guess Who Made it to Thought Catalog?

I submitted this Thursday night believing that, like every other thing that I submit to magazines, agents, and so on, I would get a lovely rejection email -- or complete silence from their end (which is as good as a rejection letter). The website itself warned people that they have a high number of submissions, and that they might take as long as two weeks just to respond to the writers they want to publish (and that they would not be able to respond to those they did not want).


Colored me shocked when I got an email on Friday telling me that my essay was live on their website. I know Thought Catalog is essentially a more poignant Buzzfeed, but I'm thrilled that I finally have a recent publication credit to my name (my last one being in 2008 with a short story in my alma mater's literary arts magazine. If that doesn't get agents excited, I don't know what does).


To be honest, if it got rejected from online magazines like Thought Catalog or Medium, I was more than willing to share it on my blog, because it felt good to finally get what it felt like to quitting the teaching world down on paper.


A writer is only as good as the audience they can attract, so if you are at all interested, please click on the link below. Share it on Facebook. Share it on Twitter. Share it in a spam email. I don't really care. I'm shameless. As any proper creative person secretly (or not so secretly) is.

Thought Catalog -- "Teaching: A Nobile Pursuit...to Quit"

Writer's Wednesday: It's Done, It's Done, It's Finally Done

I don't know how I did it. I really don't.


But my second book is finished. By some beautiful miracle, I finished the book before 2013. In fact, I finished my book the day after the Mayan Apocalypse Day.


What blows me away is the fact that I wrote 90% of it within two months. What really blows me away is the fact that the first 10% took over a year to write. And while I fully recognize that I'm far from done with this book -- shit, I finished my first book in 2010 and I'm still not done with it -- it just feels good to actually have it accomplished.


I, for one, am thankful to be done. As I've mentioned before, I've been writing the Catch-22 of the education world. And while it was incredibly freeing to write essentially whatever I wanted, so long as it would bring a chuckle or add to the absurdity of it all, it was starting to weigh on me. The subject matter hits a little close to home and, while I don't, say, work alongside teachers who are planning nothing short of a military coup, it does highlight the stress and frustration of working in education.


And the question is: now what?


Now, I do nothing. I'm going to let it be for a bit. My husband and my sister-in-law are champing at the bit to read it and I'll gladly send it to them: with the caveat that my book is in its absolute rawest form. Most of these pages have not even been read over once since I first wrote them. Who knows what goodies await the reader.


But, now, I go back to my first novel. I go back to my query and my synopsis -- two things that I had gotten so sick of that I was ready to self-publish, if only to never have to write another query about my first book again -- and I start the agency hunt again. I've come a long way from when I did my first query hunt last year, and I've definitely learned a lot since then. The numbers are still not in my favor, but I'm going forward with a much sturdier head on my shoulders.


And, of course, there's always my third novel, which I've been brainstorming about since before NaNoWriMo. Maybe, just maybe, come next year's NaNoWriMo, I'll have enough of the foundations for my third novel ready to do a repeat of this year.


But, of course, no pressure =)

NaNoWriMo, Day 25: Binders Full of Women

A figured a retrospective entry would be fitting for my last National Novel Writing Month post.


I went to my parent's place for Thanksgiving and, as is my usual routine, I spent a little bit of time in my old room, taking a stroll down memory lane and looking through all my old stuff. My old TV stand now houses all my binders of old writing -- angsty poems and journal entries and short stories as far as the eye could see. Usually, I flip through the pages, recollect on a more naive time, and leave them be. But, since I was already grabbing a garbage-bag full of old clothes to use for sewing projects, I decided -- hey, why not bring these home as well?


The majority of this stuff will never see the public light of day, so help me God. And, actually, I have a confession to make (I have a shoe obsession! Pinterest is my main source of inspiration!): I talk about my first and my second novel, but there's actually a bastard for-real-first novel. This little 150-page gem is something I wrote sometime when I was 15 (judging by the subject material, but more on that in a minute).


The premise itself is somewhat original: the main character is shot and killed in the first chapter of the book. The rest of the story is part retrospect, part whodunnit. But the actual meat of the story is nothing more than overly-dramatic people being angsty and unrealistic and the actual "whodunnit" is so insipid that it actually causes me physical pain to re-read.


One of my creative writing professors said that your first book is basically your autobiography. Although I've never been shot while staring out of my bedroom window, the retrospective part is practically my life. This is how I knew I wrote the book when I was 15: the heartbreaks and catty friendships I talk about in my first "book" is exactly what happened to me between the ages of 14 and 15.


Now, given, the - er - calibre of most YA this days (Hunger Games excluded), this book could probably pass as a decent young adult book. I mean -- hey -- add in a few sparkling demonic-but-brooding creatures and I could have a bestseller on my hands. But, for me, if this book were ever to be seen by the public, it would have to be completely gutted and rewritten before I could even think of polishing it up.


But, who cares? If there is any message for my last post, it's that the foundations of your writing don't have to be perfect. The same way I wouldn't berate my first grade self for terrible penmanship (ah, who am I kidding. I still have terrible penmanship), I can't be hard on myself for something I wrote in high school. And, furthermore, there's nothing wrong with basing your fictional characters on your real life. People are multi-dimensional beings, and whose frailties, fears, and complexities do you know better than your own? The only caveat here is that you still need to make the work sound believable. It doesn't matter if the things you write about actually happened in real life if the reader wouldn't buy it as fiction.


So I'm a little over 40,000 words. According to NaNoWriMo, if I write at least 1400 words a day between now and the 30th, I'll make the 50,000 word mark. We'll see what happens. Some days, I get nearly triple my goal in. Other days, I'm fighting tooth and nail just to write out 1000 words. And things are only going to get more challenging when I have the wonderful Florida weather and wedding events to distract me.


But I'm only 5 days out. Let's see what happens.


Remember; you can always follow my progress on my NaNoWriMo page (y'know, if your cable has gone out or something).

NaNoWriMo, Day 20: Nothing Wrong With Writing Ahead … So Long As You're Willing to Kill It Off

I don't know how I made it this long. Last year, I got 2,000 words in and quit. Maybe the book hadn't been ready. Maybe I hadn't been ready. While I feel like there will always be an excuse to not write that page or finish that chapter, I feel that, for this book, at least, I needed some extra time to process the events in my life that originally spawned the book idea (the book itself is about an extremely dysfunctional school, something I came up with after having an incredibly negative teaching experience). The book is comedy and farce and absurdity, but I was still too angry about said situation to really be able to write comedically. I look back on some old segments I had written for the novel, and they just sounded bitter. Said segments ended in the trash folder pretty quickly.


Which brings me to this post's theme: there is nothing wrong with writing ahead in your novel, so long as you're willing to kill it off when necessary. As Stephen King would say: "Kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings."


No one is immune to it: we have a story idea in our head, but instead of starting at page one and working our way forward, we want to write the scenes we have playing in our head right now. I am just as guilty of this as the next person. At least 2,000 of the words written this month were for scenes that actually happen much later in the book.


I am all about writing out scenes out of sequence, for many reasons:

1) It gets you writing your book. I don't care if you just scribble out some dialogue or a brief description of a room or the very last paragraph of your novel. You are writing, and you are writing for your book. Whatever you are doing is a thousand times better than just sitting around, thinking about how, someday, you'll write that Great American Novel.

2) You are getting the ideas out of your head. Aside from the obvious creative satisfaction of seeing those scenarios finally on paper, it clears up your mind. It takes a lot of energy to keep those scenes, conversations, character studies, etc, alive in your memory. Once it's out of your head, you have the space to come up with more ideas. I recognize that brains don't actually work as simply as that, but finally getting out what you were thinking about does relieve you of the task of remembering it, which will help you feel more free to think up new ideas.

3) Most importantly, you are warming up the creative side of your brain, making it a lot easier to write Chapter 1 than before. Think of it as the walk around the block before you go running. The same way many writing teachers recommended doing a free write each morning to get your mind ready, writing out a random scene gets you in the proper mindset, if not more so, because your focus is on your book.


However, there is one major caveat to writing scenes out of sequence: there is a very strong likelihood that, once you finally get to that spot in your book for that particular section that you have already written, there will be no place for it.


This happened to two different scenes in my first novel. Both scenes seemed perfect when I had originally written them. But the book ended up taking on a different path. One scene was deemed redundant while another scene actually took away from the novel. There was nothing for me to do but copy/paste them into a different Word document ("writing graveyard", if you will), delete it from my book, and move on.


Sometimes, you just have to kill your darlings.


Was I crushed when I realized this? Of course. But I wouldn't have changed a single thing. Writing out those now-useless scenes had helped organize my thoughts. If anything, it fleshed out certain aspects of the characters that made them more realistic. While the reader might never know about these traits, it helped me as a writer connect better with the subject matter at hand. And, one thing I've noticed, is that the more believable and complex you make your characters (even if it's only in your head), the more it feels like they're actually telling the story for you.


If there is anything I have learned from writing, it's that story ideas are a lot like children: you can have hopes and goals for them, and you can guide them and help them reach those goals, but, in the end, they're going to do their own thing. And, honestly, that's one of the marks of a good writer: the understanding that a story is almost an autonomous creature and the ability to let things go in the name of the bigger picture. The understanding that the story is bigger than you and more important than your self esteem.


So here I am, at Day 20. I gotta admit: I didn't expect to last this long. Now I'm 2/3s of the way in -- or 10 days out, depending on how you see it. Thanksgiving is in two days. I fly to Tampa next Tuesday, where I'll finish out November driving back and forth from Tampa to Miami to Ft. Lauderdale to Seabring for all sorts of wedding and family (and micro-vacation)-related activities. But my resolve is strong: 1000 words or more a day, no matter what.


And then, who knows. Let's not get ahead of ourselves :)

NaNoWriMo, Day 15: Don't Get Ahead of Yourself

A little update on my computer before I go forward: turned out I had a dying hard drive. While my husband could back up all my files, he couldn't fix something that was tangibly damaged (although my Macbook is coming up on its 3-year birthday, my husband pointed out the damage was most likely facilitated by the laptop being shuffled around while the hard drive was processing. I have a nasty habit of never shutting down my computer when traveling. Lesson learned there!). We conceded and went to the Genius Bar after all and paid for them to install a brand new hard drive (plus a nice keyboard/touchpad cleaning since I also have a *cough* nasty habit of eating while in front of my laptop).


Whenever things get tough, my husband reminds me that every setback that happens in our lives happens for a reason, and usually ends up bettering our lives than if the setback had never happened in the first place. This little speed bump, while costing me a day and a half in terms of stress and panic, ended up working for the better as well. The Genius Bar guys upgraded my software from Snow Leopard to Lion for free (an upgrade to Mountain Lion would've cost me, however), and the new hard drive had twice as many gigabytes as my old one. Since I had to redo all my bookmarks anyway, I decided on Chrome over Firefox as my main browser (a very wonderful upgrade in and of itself). I also was able to get MSOffice 2011 (whereas beforehand, I was using a very crappy 2004 bootleg). The best part was that I was able to start over with a clean slate. No unnecessary applications, no files all over the place. My Macbook runs smoother, faster; my desktop is actually organized for once.


The stress from my computer crash actually fits in nicely with this post's theme: don't get ahead of yourself. When I couldn't get my laptop to load, I got far too ahead of myself. What if my files were gone forever? What if I couldn't bounce back from losing 6,000+ words? What if I am never able to write another book again because I had such a disaster with my second novel? What if everything I've been working so hard towards crumbles in front of me like a dried-up cake?


All that did was add fuel to the stress fire, which is a good chunk of the reason as to why I had a panic attack. Another cause for the panic attack was potentially the fact that I had my first demo class ever. As I mentioned before, I might start teaching tai chi. I was giving a demo class at the Manchester Y that Friday, and it was safe to say I was getting ahead of myself there, too. What happens if I get this gig? Can I handle two jobs? What if this means that I'll eventually shift careers into fitness training instead? Am I ready to be a tai chi instructor? Does this mean I should focus on the trainings required to be a yoga instructor as well? Am I done being an early childhood educator?


Nothing good comes from getting ahead of yourself. It busies your brain at best and causes panic attacks at worst. The same goes for writing: around Day 4, I had already written out every scenario that had been simmering in the back of my mind pre-NaNoWriMo. This meant that I had to start making up what happens in my book on the spot. This is a daunting task: what should the next scene be? Does it add to the book? Does it add to the character or the plot? Is it absolute garbage?


The only way I could move forward was with the understanding that I only needed to figure out what would happen during the next 1000 words. I had another day to figure out the next 1000, and so on. And a funny thing would happen: I'd struggle with the first hundred words, only to downright stumble upon a great plot device or piece of dialogue, and, before I knew it, I was 1500 words down (I know I said I'd be more strict about pacing myself, but all that went out the window when I received the grey load-up screen of death).


I used to think I preferred the outline style of creating a novel (I wrote outlines for the last half of my first novel and essentially used it as a checklist when I'd finish each chapter), but, for this book, I'm better off winging it a thousand words at a time. Granted, I'm keeping a keen eye on the overall story arc, but knowing the direction my story is heading is completely different than knowing what will happen in every chapter.


If you are a hardcore outline enthusiast, my advice still stays the same: don't get ahead of yourself. You might have a full outline set up, ready to reach that full 50,000-word goal, but remember: unless you're Stephen King or John Grisham, you will not reach that 50,000 words by the end of week one. Take it one day at a time. See what you can get written today, not what you can get written while worrying about the rest of the month.


Before you know it, you're at Day 15. I'm roughly at 26,000 words total, 19,000 of which were written during NaNoWriMo alone. This means I've almost quadrupled my word count in a simple 15 days. I recognize that, with Thanksgiving and my brother-in-law's wedding coming up, I'm not out of the woods just yet. But, hey -- I survived a potential loss of all my NaNoWriMo's progress. What's a little bit of family time?

NaNoWriMo, Day 9: Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

Life is funny sometimes. A couple days ago, I was going full steam ahead, already playing out what my next NaNoWriMo post was going to be about (as you can see from my calendar, I was going to talk about rewarding yourself with stars).


And then my computer crashed.


My computer had been acting up, so I did the logical thing of restarting my computer. Much to my dismay, instead of seeing my beautiful desktop, with all its files and folders, I got only the grey load-up screen of death.


I was petrified, because while I had back-ups of mostly everything on my laptop, I had zero back-up of my second novel, pre-NaNoWriMo. This meant that, potentially, all my hard work, all the sacrifices I had been making to write 1000 words a day, was gone. And, since I'm the queen of timing, I found out this tidbit of information right as I was going to work.


I tried my best to go about my day, all the while silently freaking out about my novel. I raced home on my break, tried everything the internet told me to try, and had absolutely, positively, no luck. Nothing but the Apple logo and a grey screen.


And like the rational, reasonable person I am, I responded with a full-out panic attack. The second panic attack I've ever had in my entire life, the first happening when I was 18.


I'm not proud to admit that I had a panic attack over this. Granted, the panic attack came more as a combination of the stress of everything else happening in my life, a really bad day at work (students can just tell when you really don't have it in you to give it your all, huh), and a certain and stark uncertainty. And I know that when bloggers usually "admit" things on their blogs, it's usually things like, "I have SUCH a shoe obsession!" or "Pinterest is my main source of inspiration!" But, oh well -- sometimes you just gotta be honest, brutally honest.


Thankfully I am blessed with a caring, empathetic husband, who works just as close to our apartment as I do, who was willing to come straight home after I sent him a frantic text message, calm me down, and work his magic on my computer. He ran Ubuntu on my computer, saved all my files, picked out my second novel, emailed it to me, and continued diagnosing my decrepit machine.



But, I am getting a little ahead of myself. My husband wasn't able to successfully get my files from my computer until the next day (when I say he worked his magic, I mean magic. I don't know how he did it, but he did). Faced with not knowing if I even had a novel to return to, I went to my notebook and began writing from where I left off.


There is absolutely, positively nothing harder than continuing on when you don't know if you even have anything left to return to. But I kept going. The first day, I wrote maybe 200 or so words. Nothing compared to my goal, but, as my husband wrote on my calendar, I had a good reason.


Something happened once I knew my novel was safe and sound. I was still without a computer (it could run on Linux, but that was about it), but I had my notebook by my side. And I wrote. I wrote with such a fury that I actually lost track of time and barely made it back to work in time. I was engrossed with my pen-to-paper writing. No word counts to check in on, no abilities to scroll back and suddenly change my mind on a sentence. Just, writing. I wrote easily 1500 words during that sitting -- although I won't be able to check until I can type it all out. And nothing gave me more satisfaction than awarding myself a "star" on my calendar for the day after my panic attack.


So my message for this NaNoWriMo post is this: life throws you curveballs. Life throws you curveballs of all shapes and sizes. There will always be a reason to give up or turn back. But if you want something -- really want something -- you just have to keep fighting for it. JK Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter books on scrap paper and napkins while on break as a waitress. Steven King had an old school typewriter brought to him at the hospital after he was ran over in 2000 (long before the advent of the laptop). If there is one thing the "real world" has taught me, it's that there will always be an excuse for something not to happen. Anything is possible if you have the drive, the passion, the wit, and the support system necessary to achieve it.


And maybe -- just maybe -- next time I post, I can talk about something a little more superficial, like the benefits of sitting at a desk or a table when writing.

NaNoWriMo, Day 5: No Cheating!

By some beautiful miracle, I've written a little over 5,000 words in 5 days. To be honest, if I didn't have NaNoWriMo's website to log in my wordcount each night, I'd have no idea what the exact number would be.


Before November hit, I had roughly 7500 words written for my novel. Each day I would sit down, look at the word count,and say to myself, "You can leave this chair once you hit this word count + 1000." I'd work until I got my thousand words in, continue on a little longer if I've got a certain scene in my head that was ready to be played out, save everything, and close my laptop.


The biggest rule I have had for myself this year is this: by all means necessary, no excuses allowed, I must keep up the pace. I can't sprint one day and write 3000 words, only to slack the next day because, "Well, I wrote so much the day before." That is a slippery slope down which I do not want to … slide.


Now, would it be really cool if I hit 50,000 words (the typical goal of NaNoWriMo)? Yes, of course. However, I also recognize that that's nearly double (well, 166%, but close enough) my actual goal, and acting like superwoman and forcing myself to write 2000-3000 words is only going to lead to burnout.


I have my routine in place: sometime in the afternoon, usually on my break (I'm blessed with a commute of one whole mile, so I go home usually for my break), I sit down at the dining room table and I write, refusing to get up until I reach my word limit, but allowing myself to go on a little further if I can play out the scene just a little more. Never anything big -- maybe 100 - 200 words on the absolute outside -- but enough so that the 1000 word limit is not a hard stop. And then I leave my laptop and do something else (usually go back to work), with the understanding that I'll come back and do this all again tomorrow.


I must add, however, that I do allow myself to "plan" for the next day. After writing my 1000 or so words, I'll spend the rest of the day casually thinking about what to write next. I might even jot a few ideas down in one of my notebooks. But I never, ever, play the numbers game. Whatever I wrote in Microsoft Word the day before becomes null and void and -- no matter what -- I have a new 1000 words to write that day.


So there we go: five days, 5000 words down. Twenty-five days and 25,000 to go. If you're curious about my progress with NaNoWriMo outside of this blog, you are more than welcome to visit my NaNoWriMo page. There, you'll fine my overall word count (what I wrote before NaNoWriMo is included in this word count), a (completely unedited) excerpt from my book, and many other just like me, slowly chugging along with their writing.

NaNoWriMo, Day One

My anal-retentive self is only a little frustrated that November/National Novel Writing Month didn't start on a Wednesday, which could have resulted in a Writer's Wednesday about NaNoWriMo. Only a little, I swear.


I think I've discussed ad nauseum about my first novel, and my fun times getting it published. I was originally set on giving up entirely on the mainstream route and self-publishing it before a friend of a friend suggested that I send my work to his agent, using said friend of a friend as a recommendation. This prompted me to go right back to work on my query, utilizing my husband's uncanny ability to polish all types of writing (but especially writing that is supposed to sell a product well). While my query isn't ready enough in my eyes to send my work out to said agent, it has motivated me enough to maybe -- just maybe -- try the agency hunt again. And honestly, what's the worse that can happen? I spend an extra few months sending out emails before going back to Plan B again?


What I don't really talk about are my other writing endeavors: namely, the second novel I've been working on (but haven't gotten past Chapter 3), and the two other novel ideas that have been swirling around in my head (I don't "brainstorm" so much as I let novels simmer in my mind until I think they're ready to be at least outlined). I wrote my first novel in a very slow-but-steady pace, 10 pages here or there for nearly a year until the novel was complete. I was hoping to do the same with my current novel.


Life, however, had different plans. I finished my first novel in the beginning of 2010, and since then, I: graduated college, started my first job as a Pre-K teacher, got engaged, took night courses, got married, moved across state lines, changed jobs, took up tai chi & yoga & ice hockey, and started doing crafts again. And, enrollment-willing, I'll be teaching a Friday night beginner's tai chi class at a nearby YMCA.


That schedule doesn't allow for much, even in the slow-and-steady pace.


That's where National Novel Writing Month comes in. For some, NaNoWriMo is a month-long, intensive writing session where one comes up with a brand new novel idea and completely fleshes it out in one month's time. For others, it's a chance to write out a novel they had been working on for ages.


The beauty of NaNoWriMo is that it can be exactly what you want it to be, so long as it motivates you to write. Some feel they have "won" if they write an entire novel; others, if they write 50,000 words. For me, I'm hoping to write 1,000 words a day, good or bad, every day, for the entire month of November. This also means I'll be writing 1,000 words a day on Thanksgiving, when I see Gabriel Iglesias (one of the funniest modern-day comedians) live, and when I fly down to Florida for my brother-in-law's wedding.


It's going to be a challenge, but I really want to write out this novel. To lessen the burden, I'm hoping to use my blog this month to focus primarily on my writing. It's not as interesting as, say, videos about Taylor Swift music and necklace tutorials, but if I can focus my creative energy on just one thing, I might be able to do it.


So today is Day 1 of NaNoWriMo. With any luck, I'll be 30,000 words deeper into my book by the month's end. Hopefully I'll make it out with my sanity intact.


To find out more about National Novel Writing Month, visit NaNoWriMo.com. There are some wonderful tips, ideas -- you can even create an account to log your process alongside millions around the country. I hope this months inspires all of us to do a little more writing, even if it's just writing about our day, writing emails to friends, or even just stream-of-conscious writing in our blogs :)

Writer's Wednesday: It's Okay to Suck

…the writer's original perception of a character may be as erroneous as the reader's. Running a close second is the realization that stopping a piece of work just because it's hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don't feel like it, and sometimes you're doing good work when it feels like all you're managing is to shovel shit from a sitting position.
- Stephen King, On Writing
The number one question I get when people hear that I have written a book is, "How did you find the motivation to write a whole book?" To that, I always shrugged my shoulders and said, "I just wrote."

I know that sounds like absolutely no help to people who are genuinely trying to write their own novel, but that's really the only advice I have: I sat down and wrote. Even when I find like it was crap.

Now, I must admit, I haven't been taking my own advice. Working with my husband in the editing process has really put me into perfection mode. While it's wonderful for my first novel -- adding to scenes that need that extra *umf* and deleting sentences that were too flowery -- it is killing me when it comes to my second novel.

I hadn't really put pen to page with my second book for about 6 months. In order to get back into the swing of things, I had reread the 30-40 someodd pages that I had already written, hoping it would inspire me to get back into writing.

Long story short: Nope.

I was still in editor mode while reading the first few pages, and before I had even hit Chapter 2, I had driven myself insane. What was supposed to be my kickstart back into writing ended up working in reverse for me. I didn't want to write at all -- because I couldn't replicate the same polished feel as my first book, even though that "feel" took something around 5 rewrites to accomplish.

But, seriously, don't be afraid to write, even if you don't know how to word it, or even how the scene is supposed to play out. I emphasize the second one, especially since sometimes scenes and characters go in the opposite way you were planning. I'm a huge fan of the outline -- if only because it's a safety net -- but even the most meticulous plans are discarded when the story veers right instead of left.

And to go back to the first bit of advice: there is nothing wrong with writing something that sounds like ass. You're eventually going to rewrite that sentence anyway. On the flipside, sometimes you think you're writing absolute crap, only to find out that what you had been writing was perfect (or at least really, really good) all along.

For example, just recently I wrote this masterpiece:

"She slumped against the wall. She was overwhelmed."

Is that bad writing? In my eyes, hell yes. Unless I'm grading a high school creative writing project, I'd give myself a solid D on that gem. Some could argue that such simplistic sentences are not necessarily bad, but I believe that if the narrator is lucid enough to use terms like "slumped against" and "overwhelmed", they can think up better ways of saying what they need to say.

But who cares? It got me past a major road bump in my writing. I'll eventually go back and find better wording, find a better way to show how overwhelmed she is instead of just stating it (isn't that the first lesson taught in all creative writing courses?) But it helped me move forward.

And, last but not least, it's okay to Trey Parker it out. This is when you finish a story, a poem, a long segment or major change to your book, and you are left feeling like you are a colossal failure. I call it the "Trey Parker Effect" because in 6 Days to South Park, Trey Parker slumps at his desk after the episode they have been working on (for 6 days) is near completion and states that it is the worst episode he has ever created. No one really pays it any attention, and it is assumed that this is common post-episode-creating behavior.

This is actually quite normal. The comedown from a major creative project can go from pure euphoria to extreme hangover really fast. Ride the wave, do something else, come back to writing when you feel better.

It's hard to transition from the angsty-teenage "writing because you're 100% motivated to, without having to prompt yourself" to the more frustrating "writing because you love it, but fighting like hell to get yourself off the ground." This is where thousands of would-be writers end up as secretaries and marketing directors, remarking casually to their significant other that someday they'll write the next great American novel. Writing can really be a pain in the ass sometimes. You have to go with its ebb and flow and you have to trick yourself into moving forward. But, like anything in life, it's worth the hard work.

So, if you actually follow my writer's wednesdays, my latest string of advice goes as so: Listen when people suck, let go of the things that suck, and remember that it's okay to suck at points. And if my husband ends up reading this post, I'll never hear the end of it.

Writer's Wednesday: The Art of Letting Go

I just had to pair the title with a hokey picture. "The Art of Letting Go" sounds like something straight out of a teenager's angsty poem. I feel like I should be writing song lyrics over a One Tree Hill screen capture and posting it on Tumblr, or something.

But there's a reason for the pseudo-poignant title: for every page of my book that will actually see the public world, there is probably another page that will never see the light of day again. What I mean is that, in total, I probably have about 300 pages worth of words, sentences, paragraphs -- even whole pages -- that were scrapped. I've changed the wording in a sentence, only to change it again the next day, only to delete it a week later. I've written huge passages that would somehow fit in the book at a future point -- only to realize there was no place for it after all. Entire dialogues that I thought were brilliant ended up bogging down the story and were subsequently axed.

Most recently, I came to a frustrating conclusion: as much as I loved the books-and-a-tea-cup idea (and as gorgeous of a cover art that my sister-in-law whipped up), it wasn't a good fit for the book. I need something with more zing -- the book itself is as many parts sardonic as it is comical. I needed to go in a completely different direction. And before I could make a (new) prototype to my liking, I realized that the wording to my title did not have the draw that I was hoping for, sending me back to the drawing board for the second time in a week.

Sometimes life needs its own Price is Right "wah-waaah" horn.

But that's the most important trick in the rewriting process: learning to let go. Understanding that sometimes things aren't what you imagined or what you predicted, and accepting that it won't be used. It means coming to grips with deleting something you've spent hours on (side note: while I reword sentences with no mercy, I never "delete" passages that I love but couldn't fit in the story. I have a folder on my computer dedicated to such failings, which I call my Writing Graveyard), understanding that the story is more important than your pride.

It's also important to let go any apprehension. Apprehension not only in the editing process, but in the original writing process as well. The biggest obstacle of any artist is the fear that they're just not good enough. Ironically, that fear becomes their downfall. Too many writers trip over themselves because they think they are not telling their story clearly enough. Or they give up because they feel like they're churning out absolute rubbish.

Which leads me to the second tier of this fear: let go of the idea that having to do a complete rewrite means you have no talent. Editing is not about recognizing that you suck; editing is about is about recognizing that you can do better.

Let me give you a recent example: I've decided to dig up my old short stories, polish them up, and try my luck in the literary magazine/e-zine world. One written in 2009 needed rewrite after rewrite. The story was engaging, but the writing was flat and the beat & flow were all over the place. I was expecting that -- this was something I wrote when I was 21, after all. But then I came across this gem:

"Wait a minute -- I know you," she stated declaratively.

A declarative statement? SAY IT ISN'T SO!

I had to take a break from writing just to soak in that monstrosity. Aside from the fact that "declaratively" technically isn't even a word, I adhere to the Stephen King philosophy of limiting the use of adverbs in dialogue (but more on that later), and the above word pairing had just won first prize in the "Redundant Wording in Flowery Writing" contest.

Anyone in my shoes could easily have taken that experience the wrong way. No "good" writer could possibly make a mistake like that! Anyone could look at past writing slip-ups and take it as proof that they're no good.

Word of advice: don't.

Finding flaws in your writing (even writing that you once that was good) only means that you are growing and improving. Every great writer looks back on their old work and shakes their head in disbelief (Don't believe me? Next time you run into Joss Whedon, ask him about the original Buffy pilot, sans Alyson Hannigan).

The only time you should be worried is when you look over all of your work and find absolutely nothing that could be improved. There is truly nothing more reckless than a writer who sits back, hands behind their head, and declares (quite declaratively), "Damn, I'm a good writer!" While telling yourself that you suck will stop any creativity, telling yourself that you rock will stop any improvements.

Lastly, I also have to learn to let go of my anxiousness. I had mentioned ad nauseum how excited I am about publishing my own book. I see someone with a Kindle on the T and I get pumped. I find someone in the lobby of a restaurant reading on their cell phone and I just want to publish my work now. But, obviously, I have a long road to go, especially since this is a (semi)solo effort (another bit of advice: never be a lone wolf in writing. As I've hinted at before, I would be no where with my husband, my sister-in-law, and my best friend to help me in the rewrite/publishing process). That anxiousness will only result in sloppy edits, lackluster cover art, and a title that I end up hating two days later.

I recognize this is a long post, so I'll sum up everything with an appropriate graphic:

photo courtesy of oth-caps.com, lyrics courtesy of Frou Frou, snark courtesy of me

Writer's Wednesday: The Importance of People Telling You That You Suck

I hit a major milestone last Thursday: I finished the last major edit of my book. This means that, as far as I'm concerned, the book as a whole is polished, save for a grammatical errors or syntax issues that I might have missed on accident. But because there are things that I can miss, my manuscript is currently being read by my husband (for the second time) and my best friend (for the first).

I want to digress and say that my husband converted my book into e-book format in order to edit it better. He included the cover art (in the end, I ditched my first round of prototypes and went for one created by my sister in law) and downloaded to his Nook. I almost wanted to cry, holding his Nook in my hands and seeing my book in actual e-book format for the very first time.

Peer edits are possibly the hardest part of writing. It means coming face to face with the reality that what you wrote isn't the perfect gem you thought it was. I remember when my original story arc was downright destroyed by my professor. Even though I wanted to crawl into a corner and die while she ruthlessly dissected it, I was so thankful for it. In the end, my book's original plot didn't have a proper arc to it. To publish that would've been hypocritical, as there is nothing that irks me more than books without proper story arc.

Peer edits are so important for one main reason: your peers aren't you. They don't know your thought process when you wrote that sentence. Like the standard reading audience, they have no context for your book. All they have are the words in front of them. Are you painting a proper picture? Are your characters coming off as complex and believable? Are your sentences concise, or are you losing your audience's interest?

It's also why I suggest waiting a long, long while to edit your own work. Be it a short story, poem, novella, or full-out epic series, let it be for at least 3 months. Work on other projects. In fact, the longer you wait, the better. I actually left my manuscript alone for almost a year -- ironically, while I was trying find literary representation. When I came back to my manuscript, I forgot about 70% of my thought process behind the book. I had even forgotten when and how a few events in the book played out. And that was perfect. Granted, it meant that I found myself rewriting entire pages sometimes, downright kicking myself for such sloppy writing. But, on the other hand, I was pleasantly surprised with how well some scenes were written. And nothing feeds a writer's ego quite like the realization that something is actually better than you remember it.

However, I add one caveat to peer-edits: take what people say with a grain of salt. This goes two ways. One: you can't please everyone. If you have an entire workshop of people reading your book, and you get 20 different suggestions, and you try to fix your book 20 different ways … your book will end up collapsing in on itself. While it's vital to hear what others have to say about your work, at the end of the day, it is still your work. It is better to have a book that is a little flawed in some people's eyes than try to please everyone and end up with a colossal failure.

Much like with editing your own work, take some time to digest what had been said by your peers before making any changes. Figure out how you can improve your book without just giving in to every single suggestion.

Two: some people just give bad advice. Be it because they're lazy or bitter or just plain ineffectual. This is my favorite example of a bad peer review: I once received a critique from a fellow classmate regarding a short story. He made zero mark-ups, zero comments ... until the near-end, where I had a sentence that essentially read as, "and this stupid boss and stupid desk and stupid job." He circled the second (just the second!) "stupid" and said, "You already used this word. Choose a different one."

I'm still hoping for a September 1st publishing deadline. Things are definitely going to be different when I go back to work (July 23rd is going to come a lot quicker than I'd like it to), but I am determined. I look at iBooks or Amazon.com and I just get anxious. I browse books on the Android App Market and I get so excited that I almost want to jump ahead in the process and publish my book now now now. I just hope I can harness that excitement for when I get critiques back from my best friend and my husband (who is known to take no prisoners with his editing!).

Writer's Wednesday: Creating Cover Art

Is there anything more daunting for a writer than trying to fill up a blank page with thought-provoking, insightful words?

Yes: creating cover art.

I have a precious month of vacation before I am summoned to summer camp duty, and I want to utilize this time. I've set a goal of September 1st as my release date and I am going to haul ass to make sure I make it.

The morning of my first day of freedom, I set up a makeshift photo studio. I had to settle for desk lamps instead of soft boxes…

…and a curious cat instead of an assistant, but I felt my way long, stacking boxes where I needed to stack boxes (again, instead of light stands, I had boxes) and grabbing additional lights when necessary.

The nice thing is that, for about a month prior, I sketched out at least 10 - 15 design ideas for the cover, and decided on a fairly minimalistic (read: cheap and simple to do) stack of books with a teacup. I also spent the last week of (real) work figuring out the logistics. Where would I shoot this? How would I shoot this? I decided on the table in my living room/workout area, with the spine of the books facing away (lest I get sued for copyright infringement).

Doing this gave me a whole new perspective on professional photographers. I tend to be very whimsical about how I take pictures: if I take a great shot, awesome. If I miss the mark, delete. But with this, I had no choice but to eventually hit the mark. This meant taking lots and lots and lots of photos where the changes were extremely minute. This used to drive me nuts on modeling gigs; why do they need me to rotate my head 5 whole degrees? What difference will that make?

Well, a lot.

After I felt comfortable in what I shot, I disassembled my makeshift studio and went to work making the prototypes.

Like the photos, I made way more prototypes than I was comfortable with, each slightly different than the other. Different shots, different color balances, different effects.

And this is just page one.
When I *finally* settled on one photo, I created a .PSD (Photoshop Document) to serve as my base for the rest of my prototypes. This made my life a million times easier: with the layers still un-merged, I could dabble with the effects without mucking up the titles. Likewise, if I wanted to change something with the title, I could delete it without mucking up the effects on the picture.

I found myself at a loss. I liked the overall feel of the prototypes, but it all felt too…indie, for my tastes. Granted, there is nothing more independent than an unestablished writer using her own DSLR to take pictures of her own books using her own lighting, but I didn't want the potential reader to see the cover and automatically assume, "Oh. Self-published. Pass." Some prototypes looked good, but seemed to fall flat when I imagined them as an e-book (good practice for those creating their own cover-art: open the prototype and either expand it so that it fills the entire screen, or cover your hands over the rest of the screen. Does it look good as a stand-alone on a big screen? Would you want to read a book if that's what you saw when you clicked on the thumbnail?)

Speaking of thumbnails: I was happy that each prototype -- at the very least -- looked good in thumbnail form. The minimal design with big bold "CHICK LIT" (which gives you a good hint as to what part of the title is) at least catches the eye's attention. So at least there was that.

The best part of this whole operation is that, after I swore I had my chosen photo, I found another one I liked a smidgen better, one that hadn't been made into a single prototype from.

And not even hours after realizing that, my husband came up with the suggest: why don't I try drawing the stack of books and tea cup? Maybe a sketched look is what the cover needs.

I fully recognize that this is going to be a very long process. When I first came up with the idea for my cover art, I naively thought that I'd have a finished product before I even finished my last edit. But there's a reason why, even with a team of people working on a person's book, a manuscript isn't ready to be printed and distributed as a book for upwards of a year. I gave myself the ambitious September 1st deadline. Two and a half months seems like such a long time, especially when I'll have one of those months work-free, but, at the end of the day, this is my book, my baby. The first novel I've written that I am genuinely, genuinely proud of (as opposed to my previous attempts, which hide in shame in a binder somewhere at my parents' house).

Even I sell only 10 copies, I want everything to be right. And that includes working feverishly at cover art prototypes until I go cross-eyed, only to realize that I might have to start again from scratch.

Writer's Wednesday: The Underestimated World of E-Publishing

Whenever I get into discussions with fellow writers, we always land on one main topic of conversation: the publishing world is more unforgiving to new writers than ever before. I remember pulling my hair out during my agency hunt: at least half of the agencies I researched either stopped accepting all queries or were only accepting queries by established authors (or writers recommended by established authors). Some even stated outright that they had no interest in writers that had not been previously published (and, apparently, being published a handful of times in your university's literary magazine means nada in the real world).

It's a vicious cycle: they don't want to represent you unless you already have an audience, but you can't garner an audience when you work hasn't even been published yet.

The idea of self-publishing has always been in the back of my mind. However, being extremely behind on the times, I have always lumped the concept in with vanity publishing. Even when I looked into POD self-publishing (Print-on-Demand, or, if you're a child of the 90s, the best Christian alt-rock band ever), I felt like it was giving up somehow, throwing all my hard work away in the name of selling a few copies to my friends and family.

However, one thing I forgot was, with the advent of Web 2.0, there are more opportunities to those in the arts than ever before. Singers who were passed up by every major record label in town can cultivate their own fanbase with a little help from Facebook, YouTube, iTunes, and, for a period of time, Myspace Music. Photographers and painters can sell prints thanks to numerous online art communities. The concept of self promotion is no longer limited to the guy on the sidewalk, fruitlessly passing out flyers for his band. Although the medium is still on a smaller scale, the power is in the artists' hands. And that power can be just what you need to get your foot in the door.

Take two of my recently-enjoyed books: Still Alice by Lisa Genova, and The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Both authors had similar journeys to publishing success: both queried countless agencies, both were unanimously rejected, and both decided to simply self-publish. They cultivated a fan base on their own and, when word of their success made its way to the "legitimate" publishing world, agencies that flat-out rejected them ended up contacting them about representation.

It really is easy to look at the success of Twilight series and get frustrated. I won't even get into the books' extreme lack of merit (any type of merit); the simple fact that Stephanie Meyer had an agent by Query #15 and a book deal before the book could've been properly edited (at least, that's my guess) is frustrating to writers -- if only because we want that success. We don't want to be like Stephen King, sending out 200+ queries until getting even a short story published. We want to be the special ones who have agencies lined up by their door.

But the publishing industry doesn't work like that. Stephanie Meyer is literally one in a billion. Maybe six other authors in all of the current publishing market have had that luck. And even in better economic times, times when people read more frequently, people did not achieve representation/a book deal that quickly. And now, more than ever, you have to already have a fanbase before anyone will even look at you.

I have already starting my (hopefully) last round of editing, polishing Manuscript #1 until it is absolute perfection. After that, I'll be collaborating with my sister-in-law to make an eye-catching cover (a bit of advice I got from a fellow writer: when designing your own book cover, make sure it looks eye-catching in thumbnail size. When people are scanning the digital shelves of Amazon or B&N.com, that's all they're going to see!), with the goal being self-publishing it as an e-book/POD by the fall. It's already copyrighted (an act I urge all writers to do. It's super quick, it only costs $30, and it covers your ass) and I already own software that turns Word documents into e-book files. After that, it's all about finding the best platform, putting it out there, and promoting shamelessly (which, given how I can be with this blog, is something I already have experience with).

If you are curious about the wonderful world of e-publishing, I suggest reading this and this great article. The only caveat I give is that, since the world of e-publishing is constantly changing, both articles are already outdated!

Writing Wednesday: The Sweet Reminders of Rejection

A funny thing happened about two months ago: I hit a complete dead-end in my agency hunt.

It's not that I ran out of steam, or ran out patience.

I ran out of agents.

On the advice of a fellow writer, I kept my search limited to members of AAR (Association of Author Representatives). I looked at this list -- pages and pages and pages of names and contact information -- and thought I was set. I could be searching for an agent well into my second novel, possibly even second child. I searched and researched and sent queries to every agent who seemed to represent my type of book -- and a few who probably didn't (fun side story: I've, on more than one occasion, accidentally sent out queries to cookbook agencies, children's lit agencies, and/or academic textbook agencies).

I continued this way for over 6 months. I was downright feverish in constantly editing my query, my synopsis, my sample chapter. Some days I'd submit to as many as 10 agencies. In a better economy, this would probably have been labeled as reckless, if not downright stupid. But given the current state of publishing, my spray-and-pray method was really all I had.

And then … I hit the end. I submitted to as many agents as I possibly could. Something to the tune of 100+ agencies. I had even submitted to additional agents within one agency after the first agent passed. I had a few nibbles: a partial manuscript here, a full manuscript there, but nothing ever fleshed out.

And I was left thinking: okay, wtf do I do now?

Part of me geared up for part 2 of my publishing endeavor. Another part of me wanted to take a nap on the nice new couch my husband and I purchased.

Take a gander as to which part won.

Even though I'm on a bit of a publishing hiatus, every week or so, I get a rejection email back from an agent I queried upwards of 4 months ago. Once upon a time, rejection emails were a punch to a gut. I'd see the "Re: Query" in my inbox and get all excited, like a little child hearing puppy barks from downstairs on Christmas morning. I'd click on the email only to find out that the puppy barks were actually just the washing machine acting up and my main Christmas present was a reminder to get a job.

But now? They're just what I need to keep chugging away. A brief reminder that, even though the ball's not in my court (if only because I chucked it to the other side and scream, "I hate your stupid game! I'm telling Mom!"), the journey is not even close to being complete. I'm still in the queue for many agencies. My name is still out there, even if it is being systematically ignored. And even if it continues to be ignored, so what? I have back-up plans to my back-up plans. And this is all for Manuscript #1 -- who knows what will happen when I finally finish it's bastard little brother, Manuscript #2. I've got enough plans to keep me happy and delusional well into my 30s. And by then, I'll be so weighed down with kids and a mortgage that I won't even notice that my writing is gathering dust.

And even though I'm taking a break and focusing more on crafts and reading and somehow surviving as a teacher in New Hampshire, this story is not nearly over. And hopefully, when I resume my hunt again, I'll come up with snazzier names for my books outside of Manuscript 1 and 2 (although that does have a nice ring to it).

Writing Wednesday: Words with Friends Writing Prompts

Writing prompts are supposed to help a writer get into the writing spirit. At the very least, it's a lot more productive than looking at a blank Word document and going, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." Unfortunately, I haven't done a writing prompt since my senior year creative writing course.

Thankfully, like Alec Baldwin, I love Words with Friends. I tend to play with a lot of fellow former English majors. Last month, one of said Friends suggested that, at the end of our current game, we should each take 15 random words and write a short story. I upped the ante and said that we should pick the words out first (instead of scanning the board and thinking what could fit) and write our short story in one take -- no rough drafts, no multiple writing sessions, no edits. Bonus points if you can get two (or more) words in the opening sentence.

This is what I came up with from that game. It's nothing to submit to The New Yorker over, but it was a great project and a great start to a very fun writing prompt tradition. And, since I have been a bit stagnant in writing Book #2 (specifically Chapter 3 of Book #2), I'm diving headfirst into this in the hopes that I can get back on track:

No * Joy * Elf * Dole * Heap * Bride * Below(s) * Build(s) * Flat * Weed * Aged * Sermon * Not * Sing * Due
There was no joy for the bride on her wedding day.

She had spent years planning it in her head, watching her friends go before her. Or technically after, walking down the aisle after the now-bride preceded them as a bridesmaid.

Years have gone by since the majority of her friends have been wed. My, how she aged! She had sworn she would someday meet the right guy -- that she would be able to weed out those who were less than perfect and find Mr. Right. She'd find him, she'd know right away, and right away she could build a life with him.

But that was not what life had in store for her. Instead of giving her a prince, life doled out years of loneliness and confusion and mixed feelings and heartbreak.

So things should've changed when she met Brandon. They met at church, no less. He came for the first time, heard her sing, and made his way to the choir's area by the end of the sermon.

He was a recent divorcee, and willing take her out even though her looks had fallen flat. So she really didn't have a choice but to agree. After nearly 40 years, a wedding was more than due. Right?

She had asked her friends -- at this point in their lives, looking more like mothers than bridesmaids -- to leave the room. Her legs gave way by the time the door closed behind her, her dress in a heap by her waist. She looked around, desperate to find a reason to stand back upon, before resting her eyes on the patio doors.

The bride gathered her dressed and walked onto the balcony. Below her was the hotel's back yard, its trimmed grass bordering a vast forest.

All at once she could see herself escaping through the woods, dancing like an elf from tree root to tree root, dirtying her gown with moss and bark, leaves gathering in the delicate spirals of her hair.

There was joy for the bride in that moment, as she gathered her dress even more, lifted herself off the edge, and flew off.